Extra, Extra! After a long (suspicious) silence from the patriarch we received word that our family does in fact have strong ancestral French roots. For generations we have thought our father’s family to be almost entirely Irish. Upon receiving word of about this shift in our perceived background our father sent us some updates about our new heritage.
SUBJECT: Consequences of Being French
1.Big Guy (older brother) is no longer to be called the crown prince. He is the dauphin.
2. We will all have to learn the names of the several French who did not collaborate with the Nazis.
3. As much as possible we will wear berets for formal occasions.
4. Cheese—lots of cheese for snacks. And Wine.
5. Mom and I will promote more bell ringing as I coo in French. All of you will need to have bells installed by the end of the year.
6. Everyone will be given increased clothing allowance.
7. We no longer have to celebrate Anglo-Irish cooking such that it is.
8. You will no longer need to drive sanely.
9. Soon you will receive portraits of Napoleon (not as short as you think) and Charles De Gaulle to be hung in the “French” room.
10. You are free to bypass Quebec and say your ancestors are French. Kit, this is major.
11. Nancy is knitting you all a scarf that has all the key events of the French revolution on it and bracelets with Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité
12. All will receive small brass guillotines as stocking stuffers with realistic heads.
Autres temps, autres mœurs.
Until next time…